I’ve been thinking as of late, since starting this blog, what is the point? What difference am I making in the world after all? I’m less, after all, on the scale of the population, a miniscule spritz, not even enough to be called a droplet, or a drip really. So what do you suppose GOD does with us when we are in the pipes of life and little feels as if it flows forth for anyone’s good?
Well I’ll tell you about what He does with me. It happens all the time. There are no other spritz’s, droplet’s or drips that can ever take His place of perfected timing. I’ve come to welcome these times after fifty-three years of living, and after twenty-three years of knowing Jesus as Lord over my life.
Today I was going to do nothing. Sunday and Monday are my days off and Sunday is a day to go to church and be with my husband, as he has normal days off, well sort of… he just got his hours cut back and now, news we got last week, not only is he part-time, he’s even more part-time. No worries though, maybe a few tears were shed, but the one who designed me and my tears, also holds them.
Psalm 56:8 You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.
The year has been somewhat difficult, filled with more of less, instead of more. Less of friends to stand by you, and more of feeling as if you are misplaced in a world that continues to spin and swirl happily along. While the world talks of buying, you no longer can have conversations like this, so you bury yourself with someone who understands. Mostly those going through the same, because they get it. You aren’t exactly homeless yet, you are in the world of inbetweeners.
So as I said, today was my day off, and though I wasn’t in a down mood, I knew that being home, off for the day, can make the heart grow deeper in despair, because you have time to think. You don’t have gas to go from here to there, or money to spare. There are no holiday shopping malls for you to gather all the gifts of the season at, so what do I have, and what can I do?
That’s what I thought, but not in a negative way. I asked the question in my head to GOD? What have I not done in a long time, that doesn’t cost a dime, and I don’t need anyone with me to do it? Along came a verse and a smile from GOD top awaken in me Hope, hope that comes from always having faith in His faithful reply. He is after all, always our rescue rope on days when we seem thrown overboard into the world.
I went for a walk! I’ve not gone walking in so long. Me? I use to walk at least six miles a day in the morning. We live near a beautiful cemetery, yes cemetery. It’s safe, no cars will hit you, and you can walk, and it’s green, and it’s pretty, and people are riding their bikes there, or walking too. Maybe people just like me, people woken up with GOD, and walking in the Florida SONshine. And if they didn’t waken up with GOD at the helm, it’s a good place to be thinking about life, and GOD, and for me, well, to be praying for anyone thinking about such things.
I come home and feel amazingly refreshed. I think about baking some cookies, as I’d mentioned to my husband that I’d like to try this recipe for Sprinkled Eggnog Cookies; but I don’t really want to bake. I know, me? How crazy have I actually gone, I wonder? Baking is a therapeutic necessity in my life. I might cook for a living, but it’s the baking that keeps me sane, yet I don’t “feel” like it. Totally out of character.
No, what I need is just a movie, I’ll turn on the television and some sort of holiday movie might be on. So I stop, grab a glass of water, plan on doing some dishes and cleaning the floor while I re-watch Julie and Julia, since it was on television. Not a holiday movie, but sort of it is. Plus it’s a re-watch! Why not, I do my best cleaning with a movie that I don’t have to concentrate on so much because I’ve seen it already. I can just sort of listen, and watch, and work like all good multitaskers do. =)
As the movie was winding to the almost end, I stop in my tracks as I re-hear that pivotal moment. Smack dab in the middle of all her cooking happiness, people believing in her, she gets that “one”, that “one” call that breaks it all. So as not to spoil the movie, in case for whatever reason you’ve not seen it, I don’t want to spoil it. I’m not even going to be one of “those people” who think you must be crazy for not seeing it. I would then be like the “one” who comes and breaks a moment of happiness all with a flick a tongue filled with anything but encouragement. Sometimes I can’t muster that up, and it’s best I walk away into my own little corner of the world, rather then bring a people group down to where I’m dwelling in the well of despair. It happens, if we are honest, it just plain happens. If it didn’t, GOD wouldn’t have breathed this verse into existence, which is exactly what He brought to me today.
1-4 But now, God’s Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel:
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
What a verse to come crashing into my day off. He’d do it too! I know He would. He is my personal GOD-personal Savior-One on one go to Love of my Life, and me? I’m eternally His too!!! He’d sell off the whole world if I ever needed to get back to knowing Him. He just plain old ♥’s us that much!!! That is the love that keeps me strong, when people can, and will be so wrong about my husband and I, and so many in our situations in this country. People who never, ever planned on being here, now. We are though. It’s a fact of life. We are also filled with the facts of a life to come, and the hope He brings us when nobody else will, or can. This was what my day could have looked like, if not for Him.
One to Make You or One to Break You
Today I got kicked while I was down by someone who, if they are a friend, should have come with words of encouragement, and words of hope. Someone came and would have liked to break me. But the One who made me, came to make me feel absolutely like I was still worth breathing the air He created for us to breath on this earth.
The One Who made you, He is the only One who is allowed to break you!
God knows just how to break your habits, not your heart. He knows just how to put the tears and fears of your life in His bottle, without breaking your spirit. This is why it is GOD’s job, not a humans to make you and keep you whole.
Next time someone comes along to break you, remind them just Who made you! It works for you and I every time. GOD gave the first promise ring in the sound of Emmanuel, GOD with us! Remind yourself daily that the difference you make is the one that connects you to GOD. Twelve inches of head and heart knowledge that just might be read by someone unknown, who will come to know the One who makes them whole.
Just maybe these *GOD*incidental days of my life, might someday bring some meaning to someone else. Someone just might come to know this love. The love that gave up His world, His Son, for the people in the world. People just like me.
Until all have heard and know of His love,